This is love. It is delicate. But it also cuts you wide open till it forces you to feel. Love is safe. You can free fall into, and straight through, love. Though real love comes with pain. Satisfying pain. If you open up to it, unravel and peel away the layers you will feel each gentle caring stroke and every excruciatingly bittersweet blow. Love helps you to see, to open your eyes and asks you not to be afraid of the beauty and beast inside. You are not scared of this pain, but there are others who are.
So no, it is not that you are difficult, although some find you intrinsically difficult to love. You are real, vividly feeling and vibrating madly to intensely feel alive. And you just want to feel it all. You are much too much to be figured out, made sense of or tamed. You just want to be held by someone unafraid, and one who does not quiver or shake when restless demons call to play.
You are a challenge. Intriguing. You are terrifying even. You petrify most. Do not fear. Do not feel rejected. Do not change. Do not ever let them blend or tone your colors, dim your lights or scribble and scrawl all over your shades. Keep free falling, keep rotating and swirling through the night. Don’t stop. Don’t pause. Don’t look back. Not everyone knows how to love you. Thunderstorms excite some and put fear into the core of others. Find the ones who get chills from the roars in the sky. Find those who do not ricochet violently or falter when you step a little closer.
They see the calm in your chaos and you bring chaos to their calm. And they love through it all. Whenever the wind blows they won’t step back, board windows and lock down shutters. They will hold tight to take the wild ride on the edge of the storm. You are not difficult to love. It is just difficult to find someone strong enough to tell you this. As when someone is brave enough to look into the eye of the hurricane, it stirs them to unveil their weaknesses and strengths. You spark something in them. The one who deserves you is the one who will never think of you as difficult. Not ever. They will stay—spiraling inwards, blazing, twisting, changing, rapidly rotating and still standing regardless, without taking cover—through it all… ❤