She calls herself a catastrophic anomaly…

Catastrophic (noun : involving or causing sudden great damage or suffering. Anomaly (noun): something that deviates from what is standard, normal, or expected. She says this about her mind; she has her own thought process, splitting the Red Sea of cliches in half making her own intellectual path yet in her case not many others wish to follow, and she is not exactly okay with this. She sees her thoughts as detrimental, (adjective: tending to cause harm) to society, even if the only danger she truly poses is not sticking to the status quo. Anxiety and depression tag along behind … Continue reading She calls herself a catastrophic anomaly…

Take this snow and feed me …

Take this snow and feed me sun glazed mountains… … take this boredom and bless me with magical mayhem full of meaning (whatever that means)and dress my body in ancient garments woven with wonder, because I am tired, not too tired to sleep, but tired of the way I wake up and everything feels cold and how I just want to return to my dreams (even if they’re nightmares) because the real world doesn’t feel as alive as the realm that I fly through while I sleep. I want to wake up and stop sleep walking through life and I … Continue reading Take this snow and feed me …

I do hope…

I do hope… I hope that the force of everything that hurts me not make me blind to all that caresses my soul. May whenever life runs fast, so fiercely, I can find reasons to breathe with calm that I need. When the darkness of some phases cover the brightness of what I believe, I allow myself to see some light gap in the smallest corners of my convictions. I hope the old frustrations do not make me skeptical for retries. The most sweeping fears do not deprive me of courage I have achieved. May the wounds in my feet … Continue reading I do hope…

I do not bleed anymore…

My voice does not sing along with Billie Holiday in the shower. It does not paint the bathroom ceiling in the delicious murder of high notes. I do not repeatedly talk myself along city sidewalks as if words hold the ability to propel my body faster. I do not read unbelievable pieces of literature, each line 3 or 4 times, terrified everyone gets it but me. I do not then make reference to how the story captured me ,how it has forever influenced my further artistic movements. I am not the white woman of your loose tongue – the impersonal, … Continue reading I do not bleed anymore…

Hartsdale November 03th, 2016

This morning I woke up to the scent of fresh rain on the earth. I opened my windows to the autumn that waited for me outside. I’ve taken up running without music. Contemplating the heaviness of my own breathing with the birdsong that surrounds me. I’ve immersed my feet in the living, and my heart feels better these days. My arms and legs are sore when I wake. But at the end of the day, I take an hour to myself to just let it all peel away. I’m reading a lot more these days. Staying up a lot longer … Continue reading Hartsdale November 03th, 2016